Starving for Beauty

To all the girls in the world:
I am writing this post to ask you, convince you, beg you to listen to what i have to say right now. Most of you probably won't listen, but maybe one or two of you will. Please, please, at least hear me out, ok? Here's the message:
Give it a rest, will you?
Why does it seem that every girl in the world thinks that she is fat? And why is this such a crisis? Why is everyone desperate to have the figure of a Barbie doll?
The beautiful thing about the internet is that I don't know what any of you look like. i can be talking to really thin people or really fat people. i don't know, and i don't care. it doesn't make a difference.
It seems that every girl nowadays, whether she's fat, thin, or average, is obsessed about her weight. People will do anything to lose a few pounds, even if they don't need to. People who are thin will go to extreme measures to make sure that they stay that way. Girls are killing themselves trying to "look good".
I mean that literally. Bulemia and anerexia are so common nowadays, and it's so sad. Please, step back and look at yourself. You put yourself on a diet, "just to lose five pounds", right? But you're never satisfied. You want to lose more, and more, and more. you are striving for an impossible goal. you are trying to look like the super-thin supermodels that are plastered on billboards in their underwear.
why?
what's the point? if you are seriously obese, then sure, lose weight to stay healthy. ut if you are perfectly fine, then try to eat healthy, but PLEASE stop obsessing over your weight. it's driving me CRAZY! the only thing anyone wants to talk about is what they ate that day. people are scared that if they're not thin enough, they'll never get married.
it's really starting to get on my nerves.
Listen, your body isn't you. But it is yours, and it will be for a long time, God willing. Don't you think you should learn to be comfortable with the body you have, instead of going through so much pain to make it look like somebody else's?
Your weight is just a number. You are not a number. You are not your body. And you don't have to be thin to be beautiful.
A smaller dress size is not worth dying over.

A Definition

Responsibility: (noun) The state, fact, or position of being accountable for something

Does this word sound familiar to you? I doubt it. It seems to me that nobody is willing to take responsibility for his own actions.

Say some guy, i don't know, steals from someone. His parents are shocked. "Our Johnny would never do that! It's not his fault. He got mixed up with a bad crowd."
Notice, however, that the bad crowd didn't rob. Johnny did.

A girl is acting obnoxious. "No, you can't blame her! She had a rough childhood."

OK. Of course, the fact that Johnny was hanging out with the wrong kids, and the girl had a "rough childhood" contribute greatly to the fact that they weren't acting morally. But is that the sole reason?

Someone once asked me, along with a group of people, if we thought the Nazis could be completely blamed for what they did. A you could imagine, this sparked a heated debate.
It is true that, from a young age, German children were told, over and over again, that Hitler's way was the right way. That the Jews, and anyone else who was different, was evil and subhuman and believed to be murdered. It is true that not obeying the Nazi party meant almost certain death.
This is all true. And yet...to say that the Nazis can't be blamed for what they did? I'm not saying that if i was in their situation, i wouldn't have done what they did. It would have been incredibly hard not to. But it would be possible. I have proof of that- there were people who didn't listen to Hitler, who did everything in their power to save innocent lives.

I'm sorry, but anyone who says the Nazis can't be blamed is gravely mistaken. If the Nazis can't be blamed for the Holocaust, who can? Was it all Hitler? As the saying goes, you can't be a king without a country. Hitler couldn't have done anything if nobody went along with him.

So yes, our environment, family, and peers do, to a large extent, affect our actions. But when it comes down to it, we make our own decisions. No one can force us to do anything. We all have free will; we all make our own choices.

Johnny decided to rob a store. He should be held responsible.
The Nazis decided to murder millions of innocent people. They should be held responsible.

Whatever choices you make, you are held responsible for. Don't try to push the blame on anything else or anyone else. After all, that may be what caused the Holocaust in the first place.

Some Thoughts Bouncing Around My Brain Socket

How do we know what's real? Just because we see it? If we see it, does that mean it really exists, or can it be some illusion we conjure up in order to fit the world into our preconceived notions and borders?
And if we don't see it...does it not exist? That doesn't make much sense to me.
Is fantasy real? Is that an oxymoron? But to say that it's fake is to deny its existence, which is a lie. Or is it?
Some people like to label everything,classify it, pin it down into a category. Can that be done with everything? Can that that be done with anything? Is there any person or thing in the world that you can understand so completely that you are capable of classifying it like that? And if not, if everything is so complex that you cannot even begin to understand the essence of it, why do you always try to label it?
Why must every person be labeled? Are they so simple that everyone fits into some category? Or are humans so complex that one can't even begin to comprehend himself, let alone another person?
Does all this labeling make us confuse reality and illusion? Do we think something of someone just because of the label that we ourselves have stuck onto him? Do illusions even exist at all? Or are illusions illusions themselves?
If i think something is right, does that make it right? For me or for anyone else?
If i think someone is a certain way, do i make him that way by implying to him that he should be that way, even subconsciously, without realising it?
Does what i do determine who i am? and if it doesn't, what does?
Can i be blamed for everything i do? and if i can't, then who does the blame fall on?

I don't seem to be sure about anything anymore.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Guess what? Today is this blog's first birthday! Wow. It seems like only a year ago when i started posting.
...Wait. It was only a year ago. That's what i just said. OK, well, this is turning out to be a bit of a strange post. Sorry about that; i'm in a strange mood.
Anywho, as a birthday present for TO KNOW IS NOTHING, TO IMAGINE IS EVERYTHING, I have decided to let you, my faithful readers, choose the next topic that you want me to post about. Well? Any ideas?...
Just as an interesting note, there is not one single person who stuck with this blog for the entire year. i find that sad. i wonder if anyone's gonna stay here until next year? I keep making new blog friends, but i keep losing old blog friends, too. Here are some of the people who were here in the beginning:
sweetpotatopie
golda
bassrunner
miimaker
mella (she's actually back now! yay!)
beachbum (where did she go?!)
star

and lots of others....

yup. so, have a great day, and don't forget to wish the blog a happy first birthday!

(and i'll happily accept birthday money. cash, please.)

One of My All-Time Favorite Poems

There will come soft rains and the smell of the ground,
And swallows circling with their shimmering sound;

And frogs in the pool singing at night,
And wild plum trees in tremulous white;

Robins will wear their feathery fire,
Whistling their whims on a low fence-wire;

And not one will know of the war, not one
Will care at last when it is done.

Not one would mind, neither bird nor tree,
If mankind perished utterly;

And Spring herself when she woke at dawn
Would scarcely know that we were gone.

-Sara Teasdale

A Brother's Advice

One day, my older brother was giving me a ride somewhere. It was a few years ago, but the memory is incredibly vivid. He suddenly pulled over, turned off the gas, and looked at me. It was a bit random, and I was very funcuzed.
Then he turned to me, his huge blue eyes piercing right through my body. "Let me give you a piece of advice," he said.
This was all very weird, because he's not the "let's randomly have a really deep conversation" type. At first, i thought he was about to crack some sort of joke (he does do that a lot.)
"Seriously," he continued, a bit awkwardly, his hands still gripping the steering wheel, "if you never remember a single other word i say, just remember this: If you are feeling so low down, so lost, if you feel that things can't possibly get any worse, then they have to start getting better."
It seems like a simple statement, but it's not. it is something so profound, so uplifting, that i have found myself returning to this memory again and again, every time i'm feeling down.

because it gives me hope.

my brother has gone through a whole lot. i'm not going into details, of course, but trust me on this one. on that car ride, i suddenly glimpsed the one thought that kept him going throughout it all. my brother is strong. this is why.
"if things can't get any worse, they have to start getting better."
I'm an optimist at heart, but sometimes, when you're lost in the darkness, it's easy to give up. but whenever i return to my brother's words, i feel renewed strength. it reminds me of one of my favorite quotes of all time:

"WHEN IT GETS DARK ENOUGH, YOU CAN SEE THE STARS."

-LEE SALK

Until

Until all hate, war, prejudice, jealousy, racism, and injustice are eradicated, we cannot call ourselves civilized.

Smart People

We are humans.
Well, at least i'm a human, and i'm assuming you are, too. but on this blog, you never know, so maybe i shouldn't generalize.
anywho, so humans have been around for a while, and we've learned how to do pretty incredible things. i mean, look around you! look at all this incredible technology we have!
We've acquired knowledge. we, well, we know how to do stuff. lots of stuff.
And what have we done with all of this information we have? Made the world a better place? made sure everyone was happy? eradicated crime? and poverty? and injustice?
yeah, right.
the single thing that we humans do best is kill eachother. it used to be, if you wanted to kill someone, you had to go over to him and run him through with a sword. no longer. we're not in the Dark Ages anymore! we're sophisticated now! civilized! we would never look a fellow human in the eye, then spear him. of course not! we wouldn't dream of it. that is savage behavior.
Now, all we have to do is press a button. we see a distant cloud of smoke on the horizon. we don't look a man in the eye, or see his body lying on the floor. we don't even hear a scream.
But we just wiped out an entire city.
Nowadays, we have the power to destroy our entire planet. we have the knowledge to crush continents.
it's kind of sad, don't you think? we have so much knowledge. there's so much we can be doing with it, and yet...this is where it brought us. to destruction. the poisoning of the planet and the genocide of the people. this is where all of our brilliant minds and incredible inventions and vast knowledge has brought us.
You know, instead of spending so many millions of dollars sending men to the moon and putting robots on mars, i think we should be a little more concerned with finding intelligent life on this planet.

Another little thing to ponder

Do we make the choices we make because of our personalities?
Or are our personalities defined by our choices?
That is, does what we do define who we are?
And if it doesn't, what does?

Quote of the Day

"I CAN'T GO BACK TO YESTERDAY-

I WAS A DIFFERENT

PERSON THEN."

- LEWIS CARROL

WE CAN'T CHANGE THE PAST.

BUT WE CAN

CHANGE THE

FUTURE.

P.S. Please check out my latest comment on the previous post.

If you had to choose...

Ignorance is bliss. Knowledge is power. I wonder which is better?

Are You Blind?

People argue with eachother occasionally. We can't all agree on everything all the time, so sometimes we argue about our opinions. Perfectly reasonable, right?
But have you ever been in one of those arguments, when the other side is being so stubbornly stupid that you just want to shake him? slap some sense into him?
Well, i have been in that situation, in any case. I don't know about you.
A few days ago, my friends, who live in a different town than i do, were complaining that their town made a new law- soon, recycling would be mandatory.
"That's great!" i exclaimed. for years, i had wondered why that town never recycled, and i was thrilled to hear that they would finally begin. My city had been recycling ever since i could remember, and i love being a part of the effort to save our planet.
but these kids just don't get it.
"I don't have time to worry about these things," someone said.
HUH?
i have several problems with this. i certainly hope you do, too.
OK, first of all, "time"? what time is involved here? is it really so time-consuming to put a piece of paper into a recycling bin? is it really so exhausting to throw a plastic bottle into a separate bag than the rest of the garbage?
they were complaining as if there was actual effort involved here.
what irked me most of all was that these people weren't only lazy. they really just didn't understand the big deal.
they couldn't visualize the mountains of garbage that we are running out of room for.
they didn't see the big deal if a few thousand species of animals were totally wiped off the planet.
they couldn't care less about the fact that where there was once vast forests, alive and green and full of beauty, there is now nothing but barren emptiness.
they didn't care about the streams that once ran down mountainsides, beautiful and life-giving to so many creatures, is now nothing but a polluted, mud-filled puddle that nothing could possibly survive in.

they couldn't visualize the future planet that their children will inherit- totally empty of beauty. so full of garbage that there's no room for growth. the ozone layer so depleted that it's impossible to walk outside without getting fried.

WHY?

It's because of people like this that our planet is in such bad shape. people who just don't care.

Don't they have eyes?
Of course they do. the problem is, they simply never bothered to look around.

How do I know...

...that I am not living a lie?
...that I am who I want to be?
...that what I'm doing is right?
...who I can trust?
...where to go?
...that I am not a faker?
...if I love him?
...that my tears will ever stop?
...that I make a difference?
...that you care?
...if I am making the right choices?
...whether I am lost, or if I'm on the right track and just don't know it?
...that you are not lying to me?
...that I am not lying to myself?
...if you can help me?
...when to go, and when to stop?
...what I'm supposed to be doing?
...that I am not alone?
...Myself?

Braces

It finally happened!
At long last, after three and a half years of agony and annoyance, the long-awaited salvation has arrived- my braces are off!
it was such a strange feeling, not having braces anymore. at first, my mouth felt so funny. it felt really uncomfortable, like something was missing. you know that feeling? that first day, i almost wished that my braces were still on, because the feeling of not having them was so weird and foreign.
this got me thinking. sometimes, we feel this way about other things, too. take a bad habit, for example. sometimes, we grow so dependant on the habit that we can't imagine life without it. it's like an addiction. this habit becomes so ingrained in us that we feel like it is a part of our essence, part of what makes us who we are.
and then, when someone tries to remove the bad habit, we cling to it. we aren't willing to let go. we are so used to it being there, we cannot handle it leaving us. we manage to convince ourselves that the habit is a good thing, that we need it. we tell ourselves that the habit is a part of us, and if it is ripped out, there will be nothing but an empty void, a feeling of missing something.
what we fail to realize is that, yeah, the habit is a part of us. but it's a bad part, and in order to become a better person, we need to be able to let go of it. the longer it stays a part of us, the worse off we will be. (i guess the braces isn't a perfect analogy, because braces are actually very helpful.)
if we get rid of our less-desirable traits, we aren't creating an empty hole in our essence. actually, we're doing just the opposite- we are cutting away at the rotten parts, in order to make ourselves into a more complete and perfect person.

One of my Favorite Quotes:

To be nobody but

yourself in a world

that's doing its best to

make you somebody else

is to fight the hardest battle you are

ever going to fight. Never stop

fighting.

- e.e. cummings

Magic

what is magic?
is it the witches in fairy tales, dancing and chanting while adding newt tongues to their cauldrons?
is it wizards who wave wands and wear pointy hats?
is it little pixies and elves that are only found in children's stories and cheesy movies?

or is magic more like...music that you hear in the distance. you can't tell where it's coming from, and no one else can hear it.
or when you see something out of the corner of your eye that you can't quite explain.

or is magic something more along the lines of...rain. the way it feels when it falls on your face. the smell of the ground just after a storm. fresh and cool and new.
a child just born, with her tiny fist curled around your finger. the fact that the child was born at all.
life.
the way the ocean is constantly moving. never resting, always changing.
children's laughter as they play, carefree.
the way a tiny seed can grow into a towering tree.
the way winter slowly fades away, and grass peeks out from the muddy snow, and flowers suddenly appear. spring.
the feeling of someone's breath against your cheek, when he whispers, "I love you forever."

Is magic just fantasy? stuff of legend?
or is it very, very real?

Is magic all things beautiful?

what is it?

You Can't Take It With You

First of all, i must apologize for not posting as much as i used to. i am quite busy, with school and all.

so, philosophical rant of the day...here we go...



Most things don't last forever. that's the way this world runs. Food rots. Machines break down. Things die.

What maked me so sad is that so many people don't realize this. they spend all their time, money, and effort invested in things that, in the long run, really don't matter. you know those people who spend all day shopping? and when they're not shopping, they talk about shopping. and that's it. that's their lives. the cutests pair of shoes. the newest ipod.

And those shallow people who are obsessed with the way they look, who can spend hours in front of the mirror, trying to make their faces look like a supermodel's.

and there are people who are obsessed with making money. that's theier whole lives. isn't it sad? or people who are inlove with their concerts, their television shows, even their blogs.

at the end of the day, what are you left with? when your show is canceled, when your money is spent, when your beauty fades. what do you have left?

if the answer is Nothing, then you have a very big problem.

Nothing lasts forever, including your life. when it's time for you to leave this world, what are you taking with you? you can't bring along your money, your cute shoes, your house, car, or even your beauty.

will people remember you as the person who touched so many others' lives? who was always there to help? or will you be remembered as the person who wore the nicest outfits and drove the nicest car? will you even be remembered at all? will you be worth remembering?

Most things can't last forever. but some things can. even after you die, the impact you've had on others can change the world. what you've done for the world can last an eternity, echoing throughout the ages in a never-ending melody.

So, when it's your time to go, what is going to be left?

I'M BACK!

Finally!
OK, first of all, i owe you all an apology. i know i promised to be back in august. however, i came home from camp only to find that my computer had completely broken down, and it took FOREVER to get a new one. i hope you guys still come on the blog. all those comments made me sad, cuz you were waiting for me, and i never came. well, i'm back now, and better than ever!
you know, you never really appreciate things until they're taken away from you. i never really appreciated my computer, because i figured i'd always have one. but these three months without blogging were torture!
this goes for everything else, too. my friend's father died last week. it was horrible. now i keep thinking about her. how she's never going to see her dad again. and i feel so stupid every time i think about all the stupid arguments i have with my parents, because now she doesn't have a parent to argue with. it's so sad.
and i never really appreciated you guys, all my blogging friends, until i lost you. i didn't realize what an impact you all made in my life. i LOVE sharing ideas with you. i love our discussions, debates, jokes, everything!
i've got to work on never taking you for granted again.
thanks, guys.
i can't wait to start blogging with you again!

"Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow"

"And I've climbed a thousand heights,
Cuz you've brought me there.
And I've touched a thousand souls
Cuz you've taught me how to care.
Yet with all the thousand words,
I just don't know how to say goodbye."

That's the chorus of one of my favorite songs. It doesn't sound so good when you read it, but the tune is sad and sweet and I love it.
So, I guess this would be a good time to let you all know that I'm not going to be blogging for about a month or so, starting July 1. I'm going to work in a sleep away camp.
I'm going to miss you all so much!
Don't worry; I'll be back on the 30th of July, hopefully.

Isn't saying "goodbye" simply awful? I mean, there are a lot of times when you say it. To a friend, who you know you're going to see in another few hours. "Catch you later.Bye."
To someone who you've been waiting to say goodbye to for a long time, and you want nothing more than to never see that person again. "Finally, goodbye!"
To a problem or bad habit that you've overcome. You say it triumphantly then. "Goodbye forever. I don't need you. I'm strong."
And then there's the goodbye that hurts the most. The one that goes like this: "Goodbye forever. I still need you. I don't know if I'm strong enough."
The goodbye to a person you will never see again, but long with all of your heart that you can change things, that you don't have to say goodbye, that things can stay this way forever, that you'll have all the time in the world.
We all have to say this type of goodbye every once in a while.
Goodbye, childhood.
Goodbye, teacher that changed my life forever.
Goodbye, place that I love, where I felt at home.
Goodbye, friend.

Saying goodbye is one of the hardest things in the world.

Fortunately, this particular goodbye is not forever. Hopefully, I'll be back in August. Don't miss me too much!

Goodbye.

Alone

Sometimes, I can be completely by myself, but not feel lonely at all. But sometimes, I'm in a crowd with a thousand other people, a thousand faces, a thousand voices, and I feel completely and utterly alone.

Isn't it odd how alone we all are? You will always have your family, and your good friends, and there's a lot of people to help you through things, but when it comes down to it, you really only have yourself. You are the only one who can change yourself. You are the only one going through whatever you have to go through. Others might try to understand, and try to help, but no one who isn't you can completely understand.
It's all a little sad.
In a world of several billion people, you are alone. Well, not really, come to think of it. When all is said and done, you still have yourself.

We're all alone in this world. But at least we can be alone together.

Take the Rocks

Do you guys like stories? i love them! i have a story for you all today. well, a parable, really. i did not make this up, i heard it from a kid in my school.
Once upon a time, there was a man who was traveling through the wilderness via camel. After several hours, he grew tired and thirsty, so he stopped to rest near a flowing stream. He sat under a tree, enjoying its shade as he ate his bread.
After he had finished eating, the man bent down over the water to drink. It was then that he noticed that the bottom of the stream was covered with small pebbles. They were pretty ordinary looking, so he didn't give them another thought as he scooped the cold, clear water into his parched mouth.
As the man got up to continue on his journey, he suddenly heard a voice in his ear. It was soft and whispery, as if it belonged to the wind itself. The voice said, "Take the rocks, for tomorrow you'll be glad and tomorrow you'll be sad."
"What?!" the man exclaimed, taken aback. "I already have so much to carry, and my camel is tired as it is. Why on earth would I take these useless pebbles? They'd only weigh me down."
The voice did not answer.
The man shrugged. "Might as well take some," he figured. "It can't hurt."
The man sank his arm to the stream's bottom and pulled out a few pebbles. He dropped them into his pocket, then climbed onto his camel and continued on his way.
It was only the next day, when the man had arrived at his home city many miles away, that he remembered the rocks. He stuck his hand into his pocket and took them out, but what he saw amazed him. Instead of ordinary pebbles, there were three dazzling diamonds sitting in his palm! They had turned from plain old rocks into valuable gems!
The man was overjoyed at his newly acquired wealth. But at the same time, he was devastated. He had only brought back three pebbles, when he could've had hundreds and hundreds! Now he would never again have the opportunity to go back and retrieve the treasures. It was too late.

Not a very good story, I'll admit. Still, it has a very good lesson. throughout our lives, we will go through many different experiences, some pleasant and some not-so-pleasant. We have a choice- we can simply let the time pass, and get nothing out of it. Or- we can take something with us. We can make the most of our time, even if we aren't enjoying our situation. We can see it as an opportunity to learn, to grow. We can have a chance to grab at priceless treasures, even if they might not seem like treasures at the time. We should try to take as many as possible, so that we can have few regrets once the opportunity passes.

So take the rocks, for tomorrow you'll be glad, and tomorrow you'll be sad.

Choices

decisions, decisions.
when i was younger, i hardly had to make any. what color shirt i wanted to wear, what ice-cream flavor i wanted, that sort of thing. nothing major.
when i got a little older, i LOVED deciding things for myself, and tried to make my own decisions at every opportunity.
and now, well, now i hate having to make important decisions. I'm still just a teen, and I'm not 100% positive of what's the right decision all the time. and I've made the wrong decisions often. too often.
when i make the wrong choice, i often end up regretting it. i say, "if only i could go back to yesterday, and change that!"
thing is, we can't go back to yesterday. ever. we can only move forward. the fact is, you will make the wrong decision from time to time. hopefully not too often, but it will happen. but just sitting there regretting it won't help you.
so, now you're faced with yet another decision- do you let your bad choice eat you up? do you sit there saying, "I wish i can go back and change that!" Or, "i totally messed up, I'm such a horrible person!" are you going to eat yourself up inside, be so consumed with regret that you can't deal with the situation?
Or-
are you going to learn?
everybody makes mistake. the question is, do we keep making the same mistakes over and over again, or do we learn? mistakes, bad decisions, are all about growing. you mess up from time to time, but it changes you. you grow from your mistakes. every single action that you do changes you, and hopefully you will be changed for the better.
as Lewis Carrol so perfectly put it:
"I can't go back to yesterday, I was a different person then."

some decisions are hard. hopefully, you'll make the right choice. and if not, it's still okay. just learn, get the experience, grow, and move on. and remember:
"Learn from other people's mistakes, you won't live long enough to make all of them yourself."

let freedom ring!

"O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave."
most people who read that will recognize where it's from. it's the last line of the Star Spangled Banner, the U.S. national anthem.
ah, freedom. such a good word. but what does it mean? America is supposed to be synonymous with liberty, right? we're all free!
what's free? who's free? well, let's take a look at the people who you'd think would be the most free of all, the ones who can do whatever they want- your average Hollywood superstar.
celebrities have it all, right? money, fame, everything! they can do whatever they want! they must be the happiest people on earth. sounds logical. but take a closer look- almost every single celebrity is deeply depressed. they're steeped in drugs. their marriages never last. if anything, celebrities, in my opinion, are the least happy people in the country.
why? if you have it all, why are you so depressed? you're free! i think i have an answer. remember, this is just my opinion.
i think we've got the wrong definition of freedom. freedom doesn't mean that you can do anything you want, that you can satisfy your every desire with impunity. i think freedom means having control of yourself. being able to take charge of yourself. if you want to do something, but you know it's wrong, so you don't do it, that is freedom. freedom is being in control of yourself. of not being a slave to your every desire.
people today have a warped definition of freedom. "it's a free country, i can do what i want". this mentality is what makes me afraid to walk around the corner from my house at night. a fifteen-year-old girl was murdered in my neighborhood a short time ago. gang wars are threatening my family's safety. why? why all this crime? because people think they can do whatever they want. it's their "rights". the entire mentality of "freedom" cost an innocent girl her life.
this is not what freedom is supposed to be. the real feeling of freedom comes when you know that you are in control of your own actions. you call the shots. if someone is trying to convince you to do something wrong, you have the ability to say no, you have control over your own actions, you act in a way that you know is right, you are not a slave to your desires or someone else's. That is freedom.

Why?

I've decided to do something a little differently today. usually i write what first pops into my brain socket. but now, i think I'm going to post one of my poems. my poetry is a little- OK, very- bad, but whatever. here we go:
WHY?
Why are we so surprised when winter comes,
Though it happens every year?
Why is change, though it happens constantly,
The one thing we most fear?

Why don't we stop to tell people how much we love them?
Why do we just assume that they know?
And why do we hold on to thing the most tightly
When it's time to let them go?

Why do we waste precious minutes and seconds
Doing unimportant things?
Why do we push off what we really should do,
As if we know what tomorrow will bring?

Why do we judge others so quickly,
But are reluctant to judge our own minds and hearts?
Why do we try to be just like others,
Hiding everything that sets us apart?

Why do we walk around laughing and smiling
When we really want to cry and shout?
When we're bleeding inside, why do we never seek help,
And think death is the only way out?

Why are we sometimes blind to our own faults?
We're perfect, or so we claim.
We tell others to practice what they preach,
But do we do the same?

Why do we conjure up our own illusions
To make the world seem more secure and fair?
Why do we stand dumbfounded when illusions shatter,
Though we're the ones who put them there?

Why are we often jealous of what others have,
Though they might have less than us?
Why do we so often hide our feelings
From the ones whom we most trust?

Why do we judge others by what we see outside,
And never try to look within?
And when people judge us in that same way,
Why do we think of it as the worst sin?

Why is it that we feel it's horrible to murder,
Or hurt someone in any way,
But we've no problem with driving daggers into people's souls,
Killing them, slowly and slowly, each day?

Will we ever be able to answer these questions?
Will we not be able to change until we do?
And is changing even possible for us?
Do we even want to?

if you had to choose...

ignorance is bliss.
knowledge is power.
i wonder which is better?

my list

i have been visiting several blogs lately, and because of this, i have become quite familiar with several bloggers. the thing is, we don't really know each other, do we? i mean, how much can you really know about a person if you never even met him face-to-face? i believe that this is the main reason why you people sound so surprised when i mention an abnormal and/or stupid thing that i have done in the past. everyone who really knows me never seems surprised, because i tend to do abnormal and stupid things quite often. so you can all get to know me a little better, i have decided to list a few, although i already have a list in one of my earlier posts:
1) i crashed a wedding.
2) i kissed a frog...twice. (it didn't turn into a prince the first time, so i tried again.)
3) i ate a burger made from buffalo meat
4) i fell into a very dirty lake
5) i died my hair pink. temporarily.
6) i got screamed at by 3 elderly women at once. (a record!)
7) i ate a leaf.
8) i also ate glue. the leaf tasted better.
9) i walked around my neighborhood barefoot for about 45 minutes.
10) i used a cereal box as a reference in a history term paper
11) i had a vicious paint fight, and afterwords discovered that the water power wasn't working, leaving me unable to bathe after being drenched with paint.
12) i gave myself a paper cut on my earlobe
13) i ate half of a HUGE can of fruit- and didn't vomit!!!!!!!
14) i received a 13 out of 100 on a test
15) i bathed in a wading pool
16) i played a game in which the players have to eat all sorts of disgusting foods. some examples: baby formula, an entire spoonful of salt, and a mixture of grape juice and mayo. (this is the funnest game ever! but don't try vinegar- all players who drank it promptly vomited.)
17) i very nearly fell asleep during a concert, on stage, right next to the huge speakers.
18) i sang opera in public on numerous occasions.

there, now you know a little about my recent history. what crazy things have you done?

tip of the iceberg

did you ever realize how incredibly complex humans are? when you look at a person, it's like you're seeing the tip of an iceberg. it looks huge and complicated. and yet, you're only seeing 10% of the entire thing. there's another whole world below the surface, out of view.
no matter how close you might think you are, you can never really, truly understand someone else. i mean, just think about yourself! you know how complicated you are, how your thoughts and emotions are sometimes so jumbled that you yourself can't even make sense of them. you know how hard it is to understand yourself sometimes. so how can you really, completely understand someone else?
when you look at a person, you have to realize that you are seeing an entire world. a deep, complicated, and beautiful world. and a very fragile one. it is pure folly to base your thoughts on a person entirely on what you see at first glance- because you are only seeing the tip! you have no idea what that person has gone through. you can only guess at his true thoughts and feelings. even if you think you have the hard life, while this person has never had a second of troubles, or maybe you think that person is incredibly shallow and a complete idiot. trust me, you're wrong. do not judge people by what you see, because you are not seeing the whole picture, not even half of it. you are only seeing the tip, the barest shadow of who this person truly is.
so be careful around others. treat everyone- friends, siblings, parents, teachers, enemies- with the respect due to fellow human being. don't make assumptions about others, even if you think you know them. because what you are seeing is not the real person. with your limited vision, you have no idea what an incrediby complex and beautiful world you're looking at.
so tred very carefully- and try to see beyond the tip.

ponder this:

YOU CANNOT

FIND YOURSELF

UNTIL YOU LOSE

YOURSELF.

Optimist vs. Pessimist

The world is divided into two types of people- the optimist and the pessimist. they don't get along very well together, because they simply don't understand each other.
when things are gong great, the optimist says something like, "I'm sure things will continue like this for a long time to come!" The pessimist, on the other hand, says something along the lines of, "Things can't go perfectly forever. something bad is coming- I know it!"
When something terrible is coming, the optimist usually exclaims cheerily, "Look on the bright side! Things really could be a lot worse." While the pessimist sighs and says, "I knew it."
The optimist enjoys being an optimist because his upbeat and cheerful attitude can triumph over anything life throws at him.
The pessimist enjoys being a pessimist because usually he's right, and sometimes he's pleasantly surprised.
The optimist can't understand the pessimist. to him, the pessimist is the eternal grouch. he's like the cantankerous old man who lives all alone and yells at little kids when they go onto his lawn to retrieve a ball. to the optimist, pessimists are infuriating, because they absolutely refuse to cheer up or shed their attitude of "the world is going to end today, and we're all going to die."
The pessimist is equally frustrated with the optimist. he doesn't understand why the optimist would want to live a lie, pretending that the world is all rainbows and ice cream and fuzzy kittens, while closing his eyes to the truth- the war and the hate and the pain. to the pessimist, the optimist is the short, plump, lady with a hat brimming with flowers, with a smile permanently etched onto her face as if it was glued there- the sort of lady who's always smiling and laughing when you feel like screaming in frustration, always trying to plant a sticky kiss n your cheek, and you sometimes wish you could punch her, just to wipe that infuriating smile off her face, if even for just a moment.
i think it's time for this age-old feud to come to an end. the optimists and pessimists should learn to understand each other. true, their views on the world might be complete opposites, but we can all still get along, can't we? with time and patience, perhaps sometime in the future, the optimist and the pessimist can learn to let go of their differences and join together.

...or maybe that's just wistful thinking.

A strange thought that just occured to me

According to the Bible, the first person ever to die was murdered. By his own brother. I wonder if there's any symbolism in that? Does it have anything to do with the way the world is now?

In Between

in myths and legends, "In-Between" places are special. crossroads are known for having a lot of supernatural activity. the crossing between two places- not quite here, not quite there. having one foot on land and one foot in the ocean is also said to bring out magic.
for some reason, i like in-between things.
i think really good music is an in-between thing. it's not really physical. but then again, it's not completely spiritual, either. that's what makes music so beautiful. not totally physical, not totally spiritual, but something in between.
sunrise and sunset are my favorite parts of the day. they are beautiful, and there's a certain magic about it. you can never really be sure if it's day or night. perhaps it's neither. it's something in between.
those hazy few minutes between sleeping and waking- that's an in-between time, too. dreams and reality merge, blend. it's weird.
this is one of the reasons why i love spring so much. it's bursting with magic. not only the magic of rebirth, but that magical feeling that only in-between things can bring. for spring is not as harsh as winter, yet not as blazing as summer. it's something in between.
teenage years are special. I'm not quite an adult, yet i am no longer a child. I'm old enough to start feeling certain emotions and thinking certain things I've never thought before, but I'm not yet old enough to understand all of my thoughts and feelings, or to even know what to do with them . I'm eager to prove that i can be mature and trusted, yet I'm still a bit immature at times, and scared of growing up. not quite adult, not quite child. something in between.

this planet

to continue from yesterday's post, i was given this great article. i think it was originally an email. here we go:

THIS PLANET:
if we could shrink the earth's population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all existing human ratios remaining the same, it would look something like this. there would be:
57 Asians.
21 Europeans.
14 from the western hemisphere, both north and south.
8 Africans.

52 would be female, 48 would be male.
70 would be non-white, 30 would be white.
70 would be non-christian, 30 would be christian.

6 people would posses 59% of the entire world's wealth, and all 6 would be from the United States.
80 would live in substandard housing.
70 would be unable to read.
50 would suffer from malnutrition.
1 would be near death; one would be near birth.
1 would have a college education.
1 would own a computer.

the following is also something to ponder:
if you woke up this morning with more health than illness, you are more blessed than the million who will not survive this week.

if you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation, you are ahead of 500 million people in the world.

if you can attend a religious gathering without fear of harassment, torture, arrest, or death, you are more fortunate than 3 billion people in the world.

if you have food in the fridge, clothes on your back, a roof over your head, and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of the world.

if you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.

if you can read this message, then you are more blessed than over 2 billion people in the world who cannot read at all.

taken for granted

did you ever realize how much we take for granted?
did you ever think about how incredibly fortunate we are?
i don't know most of the people who read this, i don't know your specific life circumstances, but the fact that you're reading this shows how incredibly lucky you are- you can read, and you have a computer. did you know that only 1% of the world's population owns a computer?
i have so much. a home, a family, a great school, great friends, food, a computer, a blog, a religion, a culture. you know, i was just thinking the other day about how many people suffered to get me where i am now. people DIED for my religion, for my culture. i don't know if you all can say that, but i can. people gave up their lives for my religion. and sometimes i take it for granted. it's always been there, so i tend to not take it too seriously at times. i don't always realize how much has been given up for it.
and then there's my friends. friends are fickle things sometimes. a few years ago, i had a best friend, we were inseparable . and i assumed that that was the way it would always be. except... one day, for various reasons, she decided not to be friends with me. at the time, it really, really hurt. and it scared me, because i had taken for granted that she was there for me. i never even took the time to thank her for all she had done for me, and i guess she got sick of it.
family. my family is one of my greatest gifts. i take that for granted all the time. but think about it- there are many people out there who don't have a family at all. they are alone. i had never even thought about that until i had a dream recently. I'm not going to go into detail, because it was incredibly disturbing, but I'll say this much: i woke up crying. literally. and i try not to take my parents for granted anymore.
everybody, look around you! realize what a beautiful world, what a beautiful life you have been given. realize how much you have, how you are so rich, in so many ways! and take the time to stop for a second, and thank those who helped make your life what it is, who helped make you who you are.
because life is a gift. embrace it, cherish it, love it, and don't take it for granted.

some random quotes

for a bit of a change, today i decided to post a few of my favorite quotes. if anyone else has any good one's, please share them! tell me which ones you like best:

"who in the world am i? ah, that's the great puzzle!"
-Lewis Carrol

"All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream."
-Edgar Allen Poe

"Time's fun when you're having flies."
-Kermit the Frog

"of course this is all in your head, but why on earth should that mean that it's not real?"
-J.K. Rowling

"the only two infinite things are space and human stupidity. and I'm not sure about the former."
-Albert Einstein

"i can't go back to yesterday- i was a different person then."
-Lewis Carrol

"it takes a smart man to know when he's stupid."
-Barney Rubble

"why stand if you can sit?"
-Winston Churchill

"Masquerade! Paper faces on parade. Masquerade! Hide your face so the world will never find you..."
-The Phantom of the Opera

"curiouser and curiouser."
-Lewis Carrol

"how does soldiers killing each other solve the world's problems?"
-Bill Watterson

"Step follows step, hope follows courage. set your face towards danger, set your heart on victory."
-Gail Carson Levine

"The world is quiet here."
-Lemony Snicket

"because i want to see how far i can go before i have to stop."
-Libba Bray

"and the worst part was, they were only at the beginning."
-Tony DeTerlizzi and Holly Black

a very optimistic quote:

"The world isn't ending today- it's already tomorrow in Australia."

words hold power.

never underestimate it.
think about it. the things you say-and the things you write- can seriously change the world.
let's give an example, shall we?: how did the second world war begin? ask a historian, and he'll tell you some lame gobbledygook about the Treaty of Versailles and whatever. this is not the reason. WWII began because of words.
Germany was in a depression. they were desperate for a way to get out. and then one man stood up, and told them he had the answers. one man, a few speeches, that's all it took. a few speeches, a few words, and more than six million innocent civilians were murdered. a few years later, the world was at war.
the more you think about it, the scarier it seems. look what just a few words can do.
and this is why you should be extra careful with what you say.
saying something is like throwing a pebble into a lake. it's gone, you can never get it back. but the ripples are still there, and they spread out, further and further, until they cover the entire surface. there's no way to stop them.
if you say anything, even one tiny little comment, that's it. contrary to what many people believe, you can never simply "take back" what you said. you said it, and that's it. the words are gone. but the effects of your words ripple throughout the world, with absolutely no way to stop them.
this can be for good or for bad. you say something constructive, and the positive response from those few simple utterances can last a lifetime.
but...
if you say something hurtful, even just as a joke, the destruction can be devastating.
every single word that you say holds tremendous power. never underestimate it. i know this from experience.
and one last point:
"sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me." I'm sure you've all heard this phrase before. it is the absolute biggest lie on the face of the planet.

what is more important...

...than love?

change

"the only permanent thing in this world is change."
i can't recall who first said that, but he was 100% right. things are always changing. and we change, too. we've got to, there's no choice in the matter. and hopefully, we change for the better.
easier said than done, of course. one of the absolute hardest things in the world is to change a negative character trait. because that's changing a part of you . and for some reason, people assume that that's a bad thing. you know, when people sign your yearbooks or something like that, they always write, "I'll miss you. never change".
but what if i want to change? what if there are some things about myself that i am far less than happy with? things that need to be changed?
i am a firm believer that everyone has to keep trying to grow. it's like standing on a down-moving escalator- if you're not climbing up, you'll end up going down. we have to keep trying to improve ourselves.
this is just my personal opinion, of course.
so i was thinking about everything we talked about on the last post, and all the horrible things that have been happening lately- natural disasters, wars, Virginia tech, and that horrible thing that happened last week. i don't know if you've heard about it, but last week a terrorist broke into a school in Israel and started shooting. a bunch of students are in the hospital, and eight were killed on the spot- some as young as fifteen years old.
when you hear something like this, it makes you think, doesn't it? we're obviously doing something wrong. so i was thinking, what can i do to make things right? what can i change? now, it would be great if i could change the whole world. but i can't it's hard enough just trying to change myself.
but i will change myself. i will become a better person. it will be hard, and i haven't figured out exactly how I'll do it, but i will. i want to make a change.
who's with me?

a question that's been bugging me lately

how does soldiers killing eachother solve the world's problems?

orange soda

i have come to the conclusion that humans are attracted to bright colors. usually, that's fine, but it has created a bit of a problem for me.
the thing is, i don't like the taste of orange soda. but often, when i go to parties or other places in which orange soda is present, i see it sitting there between the Coke and the Sprite. the Coke looks like cough syrup, and the sprite looks like water or seltzer or something, and when you compare them to the bright colors of the orange soda...well, you simply can't compare it.
it's like the orange soda is saying, "Come on, drink me! You'll like the taste, i promise. would a bright orange liquid in a bottle with a flashy label lie to you?"
so i, of course, pour myself a cup of the sticky-sweet stuff. and it's not until i take a HUGE gulp of it that i remember that i don't like orange soda. so the drink come shooting out of my mouth like a bullet.
the weird thing is that i keep on doing it. every time i see orange soda, the bright colors make me momentarily forget that i don't like the taste. and by the time i remember, it's too late.
here's a little piece of advice: if you see me at a party, stay away from me while i'm near the drinks if you don't want to get an orange soda shower.

a toothy story

i don't generally share personal information online, because it's usually not such a smart idea. but today i've decided to tell you a bit about myself: in the very recent past, i have had braces on my teeth.
it was not pleasant, to say the least.
i would like to share with you a particularly horrifying orthodontal experience. it's a bit random, but that's ok.
at first, it was just like any orthodontist appointment. i sat in the waiting room, reading a boring magazine and staring at bored-looking people and occasionally glancing at the pictures on the walls of bright, smiling people with perfectly straight teeth. you know, i don't think i have ever, i my entire life, seen someone smiling in a waiting room. and all these posters were staring at me like, "Go ahead, smile. we're smiling, why don't you?"
anywho, so finally i was called into the room. i sat on that cool chair that goes up and down (gotta get myself one of those!) and the orthodontist, let's call him Dr. G., was about to start on my teeth, when suddenly everything went black.
at first, i thought i had passed out or something. but after a moment i realized that what i was experiencing was actually a blackout. i thought it was great- i would be able to push off the torture of having my braces tightened! but then Dr. G. said to one of the ever-present nurses, "Go get a flashlight."
when his order was fulfilled, Dr. G. instructed the nurse to point the weak light into my mouth, and then he went on fiddling around with my braces as if it were the most natural thing in the world!
i was a bit uneasy about this, because the light wasn't very bright, and i wasn't sure if he could even see my face, let alone my teeth. he, on the other hand, acted as though this kind of thing happens every day. (for all i know, that could very well be true.)
well, to make a long and incredibly random story short, it was not a pleasant experience.
do any of you have weird, tooth-related stories to share?

i'll just be quiet now

for a while now, i've been thinking about what to write. the blog is getting a bit boring, so i tried coming up with a new topic to discuss. and i can't really think of anything interesting just now. which is okay, i guess. sometimes, less is more, right? sometimes it's not good to keep babbling away about useless things.
you know what i've noticed? the more i talk, the less i make sense. often, i start off a conversation knowing exactly what i want to say, and knowing that it makes sense. but after a while, my sentences have less and less to do with eachother, and i start contradicting myself, and my conversation gets all...weird. and the fact that i often make up my own words doesn't help things.
so, maybe i should stop talking for a while. just give it a rest. i think my problem is that i have too much to say at one time. you must have noticed that even on the blog, i tend to get off topic. and i'm not even talking to anyone! so maybe i should just be quiet for a while
but don't worry. if i think of anything useful to say, i'll definitely say it.

what category do i fall under?

you know, humans are kind of funny. we do a lot of strange things. (i'm assuming that everyone who's reading this is human, though perhaps i shouldn't.) one of the strangest things we do is cast illusions.
and no, i'm not talking about pull-a-bunny-out-of-a-hat illusions. i mean we make ourselves think that certain things exist, even though they don't.
for instance, humans like to categorize everything. and by everything, i mean people.
in many minds, all people fall under certain categories. he is cool. she's a nerd. he is emo. she is a genius. he is an idiot. she is bad. he is good.
labels.
do these really exist? or did society just make them up?
i don't think that one word is adequate enough to describe anybody. people are so incredibly complex that it is impossible to completely describe someone with an entire book, let alone a single word. so why do we constantly do it?
why do we look at someone and immediately think, "that kid's a geek," or "that kid is cool"? what does it mean? and why do we feel the need to do this?
and what happens if someone doesn't fit any of the categories? is there a special "miscellaneous" label for him?
are all of us doomed to fit under a label? to be categorised like we're objects and not people?
and is labeling necessarily a bad thing?
what's up with it?

Procrastinators Unite!

...tomorrow.

out of this world

We are aliens to aliens.
isn't that a strange thought? do you think the people who live on Neptune or Pluto have movies and books about Earthling invasions? maybe they're sending ships over here to try to find life forms on earth.
well, they'll find life forms, all right. plenty of them here.
you know, it's pretty cool that we managed to send robots to mars. you'd think that we'd have to be smart to be able to do something like that. but we're not. it's weird. if we're so smart, shouldn't we be able to figure out a way to make world peace, or stop crime, or end hunger? we can't, apparently. so how are we smart enough to figure out how to walk on the moon, but dumb enough to invent bombs capable of blowing a billion fellow humans to bits on the push of a button? it just doesn't make sense to me.
you know, instead of spending so much money putting robots on mars and sending satellites through space and putting men on the moon, i think we should be more concerned with trying to find intelligent life on this planet.

random nonsense

i hate wet water,
i like warm ice,
and i can handle dirt, just as long as
it isn't dirty.


a flea and a fly and a floo
were stuck, so what could they do?
"let us flee," said the fly.
"let us fly" said the flea.
so they flew through a flaw in the floo.


anyone here who isn't funcuzed doesn't really know what's going on.


i am the bestest at grammar and grate att spelling, but the best part about me is that i am incredibly modest, and have no ego whatsoever.


did you understand anything written on this post? if the answer is "no", please stop reading and go on to the next post. if the answer is "yes", please continue on to the sentence below:


wow! you are bad at following directions, aren't you?

the truest thing i've ever heard:

if life made sense, we'd all be bored.

magic

what is magic?
good question, isn't it?
is magic just a bunch of people in funny pointed hats who recited rhyming spells and cook potions of newt eyes and frog tongues?
or is it something much, much deeper? something that's lurking somewhere in the darkest corners of your soul? something that grows with you, changes you?
in my opinion, you don't have to be harry potter to see magic. it's everywhere. the way the sky glows on fire at sunset, that's magical. the smell of rain after a storm, when everything is wet and cool and clean and fresh. that's magical.
magic, i think, is something incredibly beautiful. it's a sensation that you can't quite explain. it's bright and gorgeous, but at the same time dark and mysterious. and sometimes scary.
the feeling that you get sometimes, late at night, when the only sounds are the silence roaring in your ears and a few bumps and creeks that seem to be coming from everywhere at once. there's something magical about that, too.
one of the most magical things of all is music. it seems to come from a different world entirely. there is something about music that touches your soul and pulls at your heart the way nothing else can. music can make you laugh or cry easier than anything else in the world.
music.
sometimes, music is the only way you can express yourself. music seems to be part of a different world, a world much bigger and lighter and more mysterious and much, much more magical than ours.
a beautiful song, with words that are sad and sweet and a melody that touched me. that is magic.

national holiday

i don't know if you are aware of the fact, but tomorrow is Presidents Day. i didn't put in an apostraphe, because i'm not sure if it needs one. is it "The day of the presidents", or "The day belonging to the president"? i'm really not sure. so i decided not to put an apostraphe in, because i thought that if it needed one you would all figure it was a typographical error. except this whole paragraph just gaurenteed that you won't think that. oh, well.
is it just me, or are there a bit too many national holidays in the U.S.? think about it: presidents day, labor day, clolombus day, lincoln's birthday.... Does anyone even think about presidents on presidents day? i know i don't.
it's not that i'm complaining i get off from school for apparently no reason. i'm just wondering, why do presidents need their own special day? i think they have enough cool stuff already- the army, regular appearance on national telivision, a nice white house. so why do presidents get their own day? why don't we have firefighters day? or lawyers day? or stand-up comedians day? or people who blog about random things day?
you know, i like that last one. i think i'm gonna start my own national holiday. it'll be called Griffinrider Blog Day . it has a nice ring to it, don't you think? ok, so now that we have the name, we have to think of a good date for our holiday. any ideas?
and, of course, since it's a national holiday, i get a day off from school. hey, maybe even a whole week off from school! and everyone who celebrates Griffinrider Blog Day also gets off from school. for a national holiday as important as this one, there's no way we can not take a vacation!
of course, i'll have to convince my parents, first.

what is more important...

...than love?

a little odd

since i wrote that last post, i've been thinking about a few things that i've done that might be considered strange. just for your general knowledge, i've decide to write a list: 1) temporarily dyed my hair pink. 2) crashed a wedding 3) ate a buffalo-meat burger 4) kissed a frog. twice. (he didn't turn into a prince the first time, so i did it again just to make sure) 5) ate lemon syrup 6) swam in 3 different rivers, 2 of which were badly polluted 7) walked around my neighborhood with one foot barefoot. 8) used a cereal box as a reference in a term paper 9) memorized some of shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet" .(don't ask) 10) had a paint fight (highly enjoyable. i recommend you all try it) 11) as previously stated, received a papercut on my earlobe 12) ate half of a HUGE can of mixed fruit...and didn't vomit!!!!! 13) burned or otherwise caused to become unedible almost everything i tried to cook/bake, including scrambled eggs, cookies from a mix, and toast 14) received a 13 out of 100 on a test 15) fell on the sidewalk and scraped both my knee and the top of my shoulder 16) bathed in a wading pool 17) played a game who's object was to eat all sorts of crazy things, including baby formula, heaping spoonfuls of table salt and cinammon, and vinegar. (this game is a LOT of fun, just don't try the vinegar- all players who drank it vomitted.) 18) started this completely crazy blog 19) sang opera in public, on numerous occasions 20) very nearly fell asleep on a stage, in the middle of a concert, right under the huge speakers. the list goes on and on, but i think this'll do for now. so, do you think these are crazy, or totally normal? and what was the craziest thing YOU'VE ever done?

i did not lose my marbles!

they have been misplaced. i always think that sounds better. "i've lost my marbles" makes it sound like it's my fault . and it's not! at least, I don't think it's my fault. can i help it if a few people find me a little... odd? you know, i don't think i'm that strange. it's just that i somehow got a reputation for weirdness, so everything i do is automatically considered abnormal. take the following example: one day, my friend came to school with a small cut on her cheek. she informed us that she had accidentaly given herself a papercut on the cheek. there were a few snickers, but other than that, nobody seemed to take notice. now, i once unintentionally gave myself a papercut on my ear. all of a sudden, it was the weirdest thing in the world. "only you would manage that," my friends said constantly. why is that? in my opinion, papercutting your cheek is just as weird as papercutting your ear. so why was my situation so much more laughable than my friend's? because people expect me to be the "strange one". hey, i'm not complaining. it makes life a little more entertaining. today, another situation occured which demonstrates my point. in spanish class, we had to write an essay, pretending we were stranded on an island and were asking for help. we had to describe ourselves, but not write our names. then the essays were read out loud, and we had to guess who wrote each one. i wanted to make my essay a bit more interesting, so i added at the end that the island was inhabited by cannibals who wished to eat me. for some reason, practically the entire class guessed that this was my essay, because, they said, "who else would write about cannibals?" well, i don't know, but probably a lot of people. so why did they automatically assume it was me? you know, i like being the strange one. being unique. i'm not complaining or anything, i'm just wondering why everything is strange just as long as i'm doing it. how did this whole weird reputation begin? i do wonder. oh...and if you see some marbles lying around, do you think you can contact me? they're probably mine.

very interesting thought

the ironic thing about life is that nobody gets out alive.

no thank you

there is something that people do all the time that is really starting to annoy me. they say "thank you" when they don't want to thank me. does anyone know what i mean? recently, a man walked up to me and asked me for directions to the bus stop. i had no idea where the bus stop was. he looked a bit annoyed, but said "thank you" before walking away. why did he say that? i did nothing deserving of his gratitude, and he didn't feel any appriciation towards me. as he said the words that mean, "i very much appreciate what you just did", he was really thinking, "what kind of stupid kid doesn't know her way around her own neighborhood?!" so what, pray tell, was the point in thanking me? just to be polite? he could've said, "sorry to have bothered you". that sounds a lot more honest. and recordings keep thanking me, too. you know, when you dial a number that's out of service, or if you leave the phone off the hook, or if you're put on hold, a recording always comes up, gives you a message, and then says "thank you". why is a machine saying "thank you" to me? machines are incapable of feelings, so it can't possibly feel any gratitude towards me, especially since all i've done was forget to hang up the phone. so why is this recording wasting my time thanking me when i know, and it knows, and everybody knows that it doesn't wish to thank me? what is the point of hearing the words "thank you" from a machine that cannot possibly mean what it's saying? it certainly doesn't make me feel appreciated. well, my rant is over. thank you very much, and have a great day.

the mystery called "Teacher".

Teachers are weird. it's not that I'm anti-teacher. there are a lot of great teachers out there. but the fact is, teachers are strange individuals. i guess you've got to be a little strange to be a teacher, because no normal person would voluntarily agree to have a job standing at the front of a room full of noisy kids, and try to forcibly make them memorize a bunch of names and dates while ducking their spit balls and yelling for quiet. honestly, who wants a job like that? i think teachers have to take a special class in college that teaches them what to say in certain situations, because they all pretty much say the same thing, you know? if you do something disruptive, it's always, "That was uncalled for." then there's the classic, "This is a classroom, not a playground." preschool teachers have their own parlance. they all say things like, "Use your indoor voice." and there's the Teacher Glare. all teachers have a Teacher Glare. if you don't glare well, they don't let you become a teacher. the Glare is very useful when a teacher can't think of anything to say to a misbehaving student. i think i broke a world record recently by receiving the Glare from about ten teachers at once. it was not a comfortable experience. one thing that teachers do that annoys me the most occurs in this scenario: I'm in the middle of writing, and I discover that I do not know how to spell a word that I wish to write. so I ask my teacher, "How do you spell 'carrot'? " And then the teacher answers, as all teachers answer, "Look it up in the dictionary." HUH??? how am i supposed to look it up in the dictionary if i don't know how to spell it?! maybe i think 'carrot' starts with a 'K'. So i look through the entire 'K' section in the dictionary, and i come across the word 'Karat', and write it in my essay. so my sentence looks like this: "Orange vegetables, such as the karat, contain a lot of vitamin A.", not realizing that karat is the weight measurement of gold, and not a sweet root vegetable. so i get points off my essay, of course. because it's all my fault. i was told to look the word up in the dictionary, so i spent half an hour searching every word until i found it, and, lo and behold, it's the wrong word. the teacher knows how to spell carrot, right? most educated people do. so why doesn't the teacher just tell me how to spell it, and spare me a lot of stress and aggravation? is it really so difficult?! oh, teachers. i can never figure them out.

i confess

you're all probably wondering why my last few posts were so short. I've decided to be honest with you about that. i have a confession to make. i have writers' block. i admit it. nothing in the world is more frustrating than this. NOTHING! what do you do when you can't think of anything to write about? you write about it, of course. so that's what I'm doing. writing about the fact that i have nothing to write about. this seems pretty desperate, even for me. seriously, what can be more irritating than this? i have my computer all ready, a few hours that I'm not busy, and my blog all set up. but i don't know what to write! it's like being all dressed up with nowhere to go. so...what now? man, this post is turning out really dull, isn't it? doesn't really matter, i suppose, considering it's still final week so most of you will be too busy studying to read this anyway. but still, i want to write. oh, well. there are worse things, i suppose. i mean, it's better to write about nothing than to write about something that will get my readers upset and cause them to ban this blog from their lives forever. in short, i have nothing to write, but I'm glad that i have this blog, so that if, hypothetically, i thought of something to write, i could write it. that's good. sorry if this post was a complete waste of your time. hey, at least i wrote something longer than two sentences! you've got to admit, it's an improvement.

guess what!

i just added a new feature to the blog! from now on, you can write anonymous comments, or just make up a nickname! i think that makes things a bit more interesting. blog away!

remember this- it's important

NEVER GIVE UP ON YOURSELF. NO MATTER WHAT.

the worst time of the year

well, my whole school is going crazy. everyone is near panicking. pandimonium threatens to break out in every hallway, and each classroom is on the verge of chaos. why? because it's that dreaded, cursed time again: FINAL WEEK. yup, here we go again. twice a year, the school decides to torture its (mostly) innocent, helpless students by giving eight huge tests in a row for one week straight. this is a particularly painful form of torture, because it stretches on and on, seemingly endlessly, for an entire seven days. but even worse than final week is the week before- when everybody is running around like a chicken that just got its head chopped off. all of us panicking about the same question that keeps playing over and over again in our minds: will we survive the week? you know, the strange thing about finals is that usually, during the rest of the year teachers try not to give us too many tests in a row. they usually don't give us more than one test a day, and never more than two. but for the most important tests of the whole year, we have them one after the other, two a day, for an entire week. doesn't this seem a little strange? teachers always tell us not to cram, but is it possible not to with so many subjects to study for? how can i possibly study in advance for eight different subjects, plus finish the two reports that are do during final week? seriously, sometimes i feel that if i try to study for every test, i won't do well on any. i have to chose a few that i really wan to pass, and let the others fall by the wayside. that seems to be a bit of a shame, really, considering i could probably do OK on all of the tests if i had a bit of time to study for each test by itself. so here's the question: which subject would i rather do well in: English, chemistry, or global? Hmm. I'll have to think about that. and everybody running around panicking in the few days before final week doesn't help anything, either. I've been studying a bit tonight, and i still don't feel like I've gotten anywhere. I'm sure nobody is going to read this post until well after finals are over, because they don't want to get distracted. nothing in the world can take people away from their studying in the few precious days before final week. it seems like I'm the only one in the world right now who isn't studying. so what am i doing? procrastinating, of course. that's the one thing that I'm good at. i don't want to sound too full of myself or anything, but I'm really, really good at procrastinating. OK, i hope you all enjoyed this post, because it might be my last for a while. I've gotta get some studying done. ....eventually.

it's all yours

This started out as my blog. obviously. but now it isn't just mine anymore. now it's OUR blog. mine, and yours, and all of my dedicated readers'. we're all taking this little journey together. and i do hope that you're enjoying the ride as much as i am.
however, it has come to my attention that certain individuals are not satisfied with my recent posts. so since this is our blog, i thought that maybe we can decide on a new topic together. something that we're all interested in.
and no, i'm not looking for stupid topics like "Mashed Prunes", "Glow-in-the-Dark Nail Polish", "Harry Potter", "Swollowing Clorox Toilet Cleaner", or even "The Effects that Banana Clips Have On Society In Modern Times". i'm serious here.
ok, people, it's all yours. give me a suggestion for a topic, and if i like it, i'll gladly write about it. g'luck!
P.S. Did you see the poll results? it turns out that most people on this blog enjoy ice cream sundaes. but golda being annoying came in second place! so, HA! golda is more annyoing than me! i knew it!