I know i'm going a bit off topic here (ok, a lot off topic) , but i've been wondering something- what's the point of tears?
why is it that when someone cries, little drops of water leak out of his eyes? is that all that it is? little drops of water? or maybe something more? i don't know about you, but when i'm feeling down, and i cry, i feel a little...better, somehow. it's not that the pain is gone. it's still there, it just feels good to cry sometimes.
you know, you can tell a lot about a person from what makes him cry. what makes you cry? what makes me cry?
i don't even know why i'm talking about this. it has nothing to do with anything. but i'm a random type of person. at least, that's what everybody says. in all honesty, i don't know if i'm a random type of person, because i really have no idea who i am. i mean, i know my name, and i know where i live, who my family is, etc. But i really don't know who i am. or who i was. or, maybe most importantly, who i want to be.
will i become who i want to become? will i ever find out who i want to become? time will tell, i suppose. until then, i'm just sort of guessing my way through this confusing world. is that all that this whole world is? just sort of walking around with a blindfold, not really sure who you are? and not really sure who anybody else is, either. nobody knows who i am. how can they know, if i don't even know myself?
am i a good person? am i better than i was before? will i get better, or worse, or stay the same? what is "good", anyway? is there even such a thing?
am i the only person who asks questions like these? everybody else seems to know everything. they know exactly what they want to do. and i'm still sitting here struggling to find my identity. what makes me who i am? what makes me different from you? what am i adding to the world by being here? am i good or bad? rich or poor? interesting or dull? smart or stupid? courageous or cowardly? strong or weak? Both? none? does it matter? does anything matter?
who am i?
Saturday, December 15, 2007
what makes me, me?
Posted by griffinrider at 9:23 PM
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22 comments:
I want you to know something, griffinrider. Everyone struggles with the queries you've just mentioned. no one honestly knows their mission in life. In parshas Vayetzeh, pasuk teszayin, when Yaakov awakens from his dream he says the words"vanochi lo yadati" some commetaries explain this to mean that Yaakov didn't know- and if he wouldve he would not have slept in such a place and gotten nevuah(dream). Im not sure which commentary said this (maybe the Ohr Hachaiim) but the words were explained a different way. "Anochi Lo Yadati"= I realized who i am thru this dream. At first i didnt know myself, and now i do. I saw my future desendants and realized who I was.
Sometimes people dont know what purpose they serve in this world. Obviously, everyone serves G-d, and that is their purpose, but it is a little more than that.
Every person has has unique goals, achivements, tests of their own. My role and job in this world differs greatly from what you must accomplish although our lives may intertwine a bit.I am me and you are you. Alot of people also struggle in the sense that they compare themselves to someone else. they think they have to be equal or maybe even greater than the person beside them, but they done seem to realize that their life's mission differs to such an extent to someone else. So when you see someone out there has something that you dont have dont be jealous, just remember that G-d gave every single person every single thing they need to survive with.(trust me, im also talking to myself when i say this) anyways to get a little more on track, i dont know what you want to become, but think about it this way. What are your intrests? who are your role models? what inspires you in life? what do you enjoy? what do you look up to? what do you wish you were like? what do you wish you can change in the world? what are your goals? maybe that will help you discover who you want to be. I think something very important is to set goals. If there is something you'd like to change,or something you want to become better at, or anything at all set yourself a goal. maybe in that sense you'll feel good,accomplished- that sort of feeling.y'now?
i hope what i said somewhat helped you cuz i know i sort of threw alot of stuff at u.
By the way, i dont think you're the only random person. i think i am and everyone is- just in their own way, of course.
Thank you for your words of wisdom. you've helped me understand quite a few difficult concepts.
i've realized what my problem is: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING.
is anything i'm saying making sense?
i don't know what i want. i don't have any idea how to accomplish my goals, even if i had goals that were worthwhile, which i don't. all of my goals are stupid, short-term things that won't do one stitch of good in this horrible world.
oh, well. i guess i'll find out soon enough, right? i really want what just about everybody wants: to be a hero. to change he world.
Griffinrider, what are you saying!
you are so lucky you have short-term goals! That makes evrything so much easier! You dont get it, do you? Having short-term goals will give you a close finishing line. Look at it this way, if one is face with something they'd like to change they may despair or get discouraged because it's taking too long, or its too hard. But if you, griffinrider, have short goals it'll be faster and you'll feel way more accomplished.
A second thought:
Heros come in all different forms and situations. Something that is heroic for me may not neccarily be heroic for you.
i may be skilled or practiced in a certain area, more than you are, and if i do it i may just be doing perfunctorily, but if you do it, it may be something totally differen, something new-
i hope u get what i'm saying.
ther's no such thing that a person doesn't have goals.
thats impossible.
Everyone has dreams, desires, yens . . .
I'm 100% sure you do too.
Ruminate over it for a few days. Kay?
Yeah, short-term goals are great, if they have a purpose. but if someone's goal is to, say, break the world record in eating the most slices of pizza in a minute, that doesn't really help anybody, does it? besides maybe the pizza makers, cuz they're getting a lot of money. but that's not the point.
what does "perfunctorily" mean? and you say reading doesn't help your vocabulary! i've no idea what half the words you use mean!
if i ruminate over this stuff for too long, i won't get a chance to write a new posting, and you won't be very happy then, will you?
this blog is the best for when i want to procrastinate! i have so much to do, and i really don't feel like doing it. this is so much fun!
DON'T PUSH IT OFF- PROCRASTINATE NOW!!
perfuntorily= doing it merely as a duty.
Doing something out of routine with indifference, or little care.
Does that help?
yes. i understand. thank you. how on earth do you come up with words like this? it's very impressive.
There is something called a dictionary which is a reference book containing an alphabetical list of words, with information given for each word, usually including meaning, pronunciation, and etymology.
When I don't know a word that I hear, I like to find out it's definition, just like any other normal person, so thats where a dictionary comes in.
Yuu mean to tell me that you read the dictionary for fun?! and you call that normal?!
actually, i did once open a dictionary to a random page, and strated reading. i discovered that a drone is a male bumblebee. interesting, isn't it?
and here's a question to ponder:
if something was misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
simple:
u'd compare it to another dictiionary.
I actually think its very entertaining to look thru a dictionary and just look thru the words and gain knowlege.
Especially when ur friends dont give you any good books to read.
hey what are we talking about here?
I wannna join the fun!!!
i told you, i'll give you books if you tellme what books you want! besides golda, of course. golda doesn't get any books cuz her ego's too big.
cant u just give me any of the books u have pleaz?
hi! i just read this blog & i wanna join! Hope it's not 2 late!! I think 4evernameless said some very wise things. btw, u guys r so cute abt the dictionary n stuff!!! :-)
k now let me try 2 answer ur questions, griffinrider in my own way. i'd like 2 tell u my perspective, maybe it can help u2!
1st the tears question- (this is a cute q!) hmm i dunno i think when u cry u express your emotions. u let it out. and u feel better. but maybe its kinda a scientific thing that it comes out of your eyes !LOL! (r ur eyes connected 2 ur heart?) yes, wat u cry abt certainly shows wat u care abt & wat ur worries & pains in life r.
It's very important 4 u 2 know who u r. and i think u need some thinking time. sometimes ineed 2 just think. u should think abt ur life. what do u want to achieve? what do u want 2 be? u r a special u. u can reach gr8 heights in ur own special way. u can be the best u ever! & that should b ur lifetime goal- 2 be the best u! or/and to make a difference in the world somehow by being the special u. every person was put on this world to do a certain mission , sent by Hashem. Every person is soooo special in their own way!
who do u want 2 bcome? if u really c how precious life is, u will try 2 enjoy & utilize ur special life as much as u can. if u really wanna b ________ kind of person & do _________ - u can!!!! u really really can!!! if u keep trying and dont give up & put ur heart & soul in2 ur goal, u can reach the stars!!!!!!
no, my dear, life should not be the way u mentioned. some ppl do walk around w/o a particular goal, wasting their life doing not nice things. some ppl get upset over silly things when they can be enjoying their precious lives. and some ppl know exactly where they wan2 lead their life. some ppl feel accompished. some ppl c the value of their lives & use it positively & efficiently.
it's all up to u. if ur this or that- it's all in ur hands. Hashem gave u bechirah 2 make decisions to do what's right or wrong. bechirah to bcome this way or that. every1 is special in their own way, every1 is born w/ strentghs & weaknesses. make sure u use urs 4 the good. & remember, e/t that happens 2 u (& every1) is sent from Hashem with love!! (EVERY little thing!) e/t helps u b u!
remember also, that it's the small , kind things in life that matter. u dont have 2 b a superman. u dont have 2 save s/o from falling off a building or drowning or from a fire chas veshalom. of course these r gr8 heros 2, but it's the small things that matter 2.
actully, u SHOULD b a superman, b in your own special way. just dropping a kind word in s/o's heart can make u a hero! & remember, e/o was put on this world 4 a special mission , some may seem bigger than others, but each is perfect 4 each person, & is gr8 in its own way!!
(also- u will recieve schar 4 ur good deeds- dont 4get!! )
After 120, iy"H, 1 will go b4 The Kisei HaKavod. 1 will be shown 2 videos- 1 of e/t they did & what kind of person he/she became. Another of what they were supposed 2 bcome. A righteous person will only have 1 video! :-))
u have soo much potential 2 b a gr8 u!!!! dont 4get!!
Also- Very important!!! - what matter's in life? it's in 1s HEART that matters, what personality 1 has, what mitzvos a person did, in what special way of his/her.
:-) remember, ur special!
hi! it's me again! i really hope wat i said helped u at all! sorry its alot , but i had a lot 2 say. maybe try reading it slowly & digesting it if its 2 much! sorry!
also - u mitwe wanna read "life is a test" by rebetzin esther jungreis!!
have a gr8 day!!
how often does griffinrider check the blog?
well it oviously not often anough!!! anyway blah blah blah... i am sssooo bored and hyper and watta u know it is right b4 my bed time!!!! lalalalalalallalalalalalla!!! And one more final LA!!!
Wow, sorry guys. i didn't know you'd miss me that much. i just took a short break from the blogs for a while. but i'm back, and better than ever! i usually check the blog about once a day. is that often enough for you poeple?
hey, mitzvahdolly! welcome to the blog. i hope you're enjoying. thank you so much for your words of wisdom. you're right- it did give me a lot to think about. by the way, make sure to tell all your friends and/or enemies and/or neutral-feelings-people about this blog. we need more people!
oy! chas veshalom! no enemies!
how can you say such a thing? the forbidden "F" word!!! ohy,
typo, i meant the forbeddin"e" word. you can say FFFFFFriend how ever many times you want!! friend, friend, friend....
good. i was wondering what "F" word you were talking about. for a second i thought it was...no. i shouldn't say it. it's not appropriate. oh, ok. i'll say it. for a second there, i thought that when you said "F Word", you were referring to "fangdude". but then you informed me it was a typo. so no harm done.
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