Braces

It finally happened!
At long last, after three and a half years of agony and annoyance, the long-awaited salvation has arrived- my braces are off!
it was such a strange feeling, not having braces anymore. at first, my mouth felt so funny. it felt really uncomfortable, like something was missing. you know that feeling? that first day, i almost wished that my braces were still on, because the feeling of not having them was so weird and foreign.
this got me thinking. sometimes, we feel this way about other things, too. take a bad habit, for example. sometimes, we grow so dependant on the habit that we can't imagine life without it. it's like an addiction. this habit becomes so ingrained in us that we feel like it is a part of our essence, part of what makes us who we are.
and then, when someone tries to remove the bad habit, we cling to it. we aren't willing to let go. we are so used to it being there, we cannot handle it leaving us. we manage to convince ourselves that the habit is a good thing, that we need it. we tell ourselves that the habit is a part of us, and if it is ripped out, there will be nothing but an empty void, a feeling of missing something.
what we fail to realize is that, yeah, the habit is a part of us. but it's a bad part, and in order to become a better person, we need to be able to let go of it. the longer it stays a part of us, the worse off we will be. (i guess the braces isn't a perfect analogy, because braces are actually very helpful.)
if we get rid of our less-desirable traits, we aren't creating an empty hole in our essence. actually, we're doing just the opposite- we are cutting away at the rotten parts, in order to make ourselves into a more complete and perfect person.

One of my Favorite Quotes:

To be nobody but

yourself in a world

that's doing its best to

make you somebody else

is to fight the hardest battle you are

ever going to fight. Never stop

fighting.

- e.e. cummings

Magic

what is magic?
is it the witches in fairy tales, dancing and chanting while adding newt tongues to their cauldrons?
is it wizards who wave wands and wear pointy hats?
is it little pixies and elves that are only found in children's stories and cheesy movies?

or is magic more like...music that you hear in the distance. you can't tell where it's coming from, and no one else can hear it.
or when you see something out of the corner of your eye that you can't quite explain.

or is magic something more along the lines of...rain. the way it feels when it falls on your face. the smell of the ground just after a storm. fresh and cool and new.
a child just born, with her tiny fist curled around your finger. the fact that the child was born at all.
life.
the way the ocean is constantly moving. never resting, always changing.
children's laughter as they play, carefree.
the way a tiny seed can grow into a towering tree.
the way winter slowly fades away, and grass peeks out from the muddy snow, and flowers suddenly appear. spring.
the feeling of someone's breath against your cheek, when he whispers, "I love you forever."

Is magic just fantasy? stuff of legend?
or is it very, very real?

Is magic all things beautiful?

what is it?

You Can't Take It With You

First of all, i must apologize for not posting as much as i used to. i am quite busy, with school and all.

so, philosophical rant of the day...here we go...



Most things don't last forever. that's the way this world runs. Food rots. Machines break down. Things die.

What maked me so sad is that so many people don't realize this. they spend all their time, money, and effort invested in things that, in the long run, really don't matter. you know those people who spend all day shopping? and when they're not shopping, they talk about shopping. and that's it. that's their lives. the cutests pair of shoes. the newest ipod.

And those shallow people who are obsessed with the way they look, who can spend hours in front of the mirror, trying to make their faces look like a supermodel's.

and there are people who are obsessed with making money. that's theier whole lives. isn't it sad? or people who are inlove with their concerts, their television shows, even their blogs.

at the end of the day, what are you left with? when your show is canceled, when your money is spent, when your beauty fades. what do you have left?

if the answer is Nothing, then you have a very big problem.

Nothing lasts forever, including your life. when it's time for you to leave this world, what are you taking with you? you can't bring along your money, your cute shoes, your house, car, or even your beauty.

will people remember you as the person who touched so many others' lives? who was always there to help? or will you be remembered as the person who wore the nicest outfits and drove the nicest car? will you even be remembered at all? will you be worth remembering?

Most things can't last forever. but some things can. even after you die, the impact you've had on others can change the world. what you've done for the world can last an eternity, echoing throughout the ages in a never-ending melody.

So, when it's your time to go, what is going to be left?

I'M BACK!

Finally!
OK, first of all, i owe you all an apology. i know i promised to be back in august. however, i came home from camp only to find that my computer had completely broken down, and it took FOREVER to get a new one. i hope you guys still come on the blog. all those comments made me sad, cuz you were waiting for me, and i never came. well, i'm back now, and better than ever!
you know, you never really appreciate things until they're taken away from you. i never really appreciated my computer, because i figured i'd always have one. but these three months without blogging were torture!
this goes for everything else, too. my friend's father died last week. it was horrible. now i keep thinking about her. how she's never going to see her dad again. and i feel so stupid every time i think about all the stupid arguments i have with my parents, because now she doesn't have a parent to argue with. it's so sad.
and i never really appreciated you guys, all my blogging friends, until i lost you. i didn't realize what an impact you all made in my life. i LOVE sharing ideas with you. i love our discussions, debates, jokes, everything!
i've got to work on never taking you for granted again.
thanks, guys.
i can't wait to start blogging with you again!

"Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow"

"And I've climbed a thousand heights,
Cuz you've brought me there.
And I've touched a thousand souls
Cuz you've taught me how to care.
Yet with all the thousand words,
I just don't know how to say goodbye."

That's the chorus of one of my favorite songs. It doesn't sound so good when you read it, but the tune is sad and sweet and I love it.
So, I guess this would be a good time to let you all know that I'm not going to be blogging for about a month or so, starting July 1. I'm going to work in a sleep away camp.
I'm going to miss you all so much!
Don't worry; I'll be back on the 30th of July, hopefully.

Isn't saying "goodbye" simply awful? I mean, there are a lot of times when you say it. To a friend, who you know you're going to see in another few hours. "Catch you later.Bye."
To someone who you've been waiting to say goodbye to for a long time, and you want nothing more than to never see that person again. "Finally, goodbye!"
To a problem or bad habit that you've overcome. You say it triumphantly then. "Goodbye forever. I don't need you. I'm strong."
And then there's the goodbye that hurts the most. The one that goes like this: "Goodbye forever. I still need you. I don't know if I'm strong enough."
The goodbye to a person you will never see again, but long with all of your heart that you can change things, that you don't have to say goodbye, that things can stay this way forever, that you'll have all the time in the world.
We all have to say this type of goodbye every once in a while.
Goodbye, childhood.
Goodbye, teacher that changed my life forever.
Goodbye, place that I love, where I felt at home.
Goodbye, friend.

Saying goodbye is one of the hardest things in the world.

Fortunately, this particular goodbye is not forever. Hopefully, I'll be back in August. Don't miss me too much!

Goodbye.

Alone

Sometimes, I can be completely by myself, but not feel lonely at all. But sometimes, I'm in a crowd with a thousand other people, a thousand faces, a thousand voices, and I feel completely and utterly alone.

Isn't it odd how alone we all are? You will always have your family, and your good friends, and there's a lot of people to help you through things, but when it comes down to it, you really only have yourself. You are the only one who can change yourself. You are the only one going through whatever you have to go through. Others might try to understand, and try to help, but no one who isn't you can completely understand.
It's all a little sad.
In a world of several billion people, you are alone. Well, not really, come to think of it. When all is said and done, you still have yourself.

We're all alone in this world. But at least we can be alone together.