"Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow"

"And I've climbed a thousand heights,
Cuz you've brought me there.
And I've touched a thousand souls
Cuz you've taught me how to care.
Yet with all the thousand words,
I just don't know how to say goodbye."

That's the chorus of one of my favorite songs. It doesn't sound so good when you read it, but the tune is sad and sweet and I love it.
So, I guess this would be a good time to let you all know that I'm not going to be blogging for about a month or so, starting July 1. I'm going to work in a sleep away camp.
I'm going to miss you all so much!
Don't worry; I'll be back on the 30th of July, hopefully.

Isn't saying "goodbye" simply awful? I mean, there are a lot of times when you say it. To a friend, who you know you're going to see in another few hours. "Catch you later.Bye."
To someone who you've been waiting to say goodbye to for a long time, and you want nothing more than to never see that person again. "Finally, goodbye!"
To a problem or bad habit that you've overcome. You say it triumphantly then. "Goodbye forever. I don't need you. I'm strong."
And then there's the goodbye that hurts the most. The one that goes like this: "Goodbye forever. I still need you. I don't know if I'm strong enough."
The goodbye to a person you will never see again, but long with all of your heart that you can change things, that you don't have to say goodbye, that things can stay this way forever, that you'll have all the time in the world.
We all have to say this type of goodbye every once in a while.
Goodbye, childhood.
Goodbye, teacher that changed my life forever.
Goodbye, place that I love, where I felt at home.
Goodbye, friend.

Saying goodbye is one of the hardest things in the world.

Fortunately, this particular goodbye is not forever. Hopefully, I'll be back in August. Don't miss me too much!

Goodbye.

Alone

Sometimes, I can be completely by myself, but not feel lonely at all. But sometimes, I'm in a crowd with a thousand other people, a thousand faces, a thousand voices, and I feel completely and utterly alone.

Isn't it odd how alone we all are? You will always have your family, and your good friends, and there's a lot of people to help you through things, but when it comes down to it, you really only have yourself. You are the only one who can change yourself. You are the only one going through whatever you have to go through. Others might try to understand, and try to help, but no one who isn't you can completely understand.
It's all a little sad.
In a world of several billion people, you are alone. Well, not really, come to think of it. When all is said and done, you still have yourself.

We're all alone in this world. But at least we can be alone together.

Take the Rocks

Do you guys like stories? i love them! i have a story for you all today. well, a parable, really. i did not make this up, i heard it from a kid in my school.
Once upon a time, there was a man who was traveling through the wilderness via camel. After several hours, he grew tired and thirsty, so he stopped to rest near a flowing stream. He sat under a tree, enjoying its shade as he ate his bread.
After he had finished eating, the man bent down over the water to drink. It was then that he noticed that the bottom of the stream was covered with small pebbles. They were pretty ordinary looking, so he didn't give them another thought as he scooped the cold, clear water into his parched mouth.
As the man got up to continue on his journey, he suddenly heard a voice in his ear. It was soft and whispery, as if it belonged to the wind itself. The voice said, "Take the rocks, for tomorrow you'll be glad and tomorrow you'll be sad."
"What?!" the man exclaimed, taken aback. "I already have so much to carry, and my camel is tired as it is. Why on earth would I take these useless pebbles? They'd only weigh me down."
The voice did not answer.
The man shrugged. "Might as well take some," he figured. "It can't hurt."
The man sank his arm to the stream's bottom and pulled out a few pebbles. He dropped them into his pocket, then climbed onto his camel and continued on his way.
It was only the next day, when the man had arrived at his home city many miles away, that he remembered the rocks. He stuck his hand into his pocket and took them out, but what he saw amazed him. Instead of ordinary pebbles, there were three dazzling diamonds sitting in his palm! They had turned from plain old rocks into valuable gems!
The man was overjoyed at his newly acquired wealth. But at the same time, he was devastated. He had only brought back three pebbles, when he could've had hundreds and hundreds! Now he would never again have the opportunity to go back and retrieve the treasures. It was too late.

Not a very good story, I'll admit. Still, it has a very good lesson. throughout our lives, we will go through many different experiences, some pleasant and some not-so-pleasant. We have a choice- we can simply let the time pass, and get nothing out of it. Or- we can take something with us. We can make the most of our time, even if we aren't enjoying our situation. We can see it as an opportunity to learn, to grow. We can have a chance to grab at priceless treasures, even if they might not seem like treasures at the time. We should try to take as many as possible, so that we can have few regrets once the opportunity passes.

So take the rocks, for tomorrow you'll be glad, and tomorrow you'll be sad.

Choices

decisions, decisions.
when i was younger, i hardly had to make any. what color shirt i wanted to wear, what ice-cream flavor i wanted, that sort of thing. nothing major.
when i got a little older, i LOVED deciding things for myself, and tried to make my own decisions at every opportunity.
and now, well, now i hate having to make important decisions. I'm still just a teen, and I'm not 100% positive of what's the right decision all the time. and I've made the wrong decisions often. too often.
when i make the wrong choice, i often end up regretting it. i say, "if only i could go back to yesterday, and change that!"
thing is, we can't go back to yesterday. ever. we can only move forward. the fact is, you will make the wrong decision from time to time. hopefully not too often, but it will happen. but just sitting there regretting it won't help you.
so, now you're faced with yet another decision- do you let your bad choice eat you up? do you sit there saying, "I wish i can go back and change that!" Or, "i totally messed up, I'm such a horrible person!" are you going to eat yourself up inside, be so consumed with regret that you can't deal with the situation?
Or-
are you going to learn?
everybody makes mistake. the question is, do we keep making the same mistakes over and over again, or do we learn? mistakes, bad decisions, are all about growing. you mess up from time to time, but it changes you. you grow from your mistakes. every single action that you do changes you, and hopefully you will be changed for the better.
as Lewis Carrol so perfectly put it:
"I can't go back to yesterday, I was a different person then."

some decisions are hard. hopefully, you'll make the right choice. and if not, it's still okay. just learn, get the experience, grow, and move on. and remember:
"Learn from other people's mistakes, you won't live long enough to make all of them yourself."

let freedom ring!

"O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave."
most people who read that will recognize where it's from. it's the last line of the Star Spangled Banner, the U.S. national anthem.
ah, freedom. such a good word. but what does it mean? America is supposed to be synonymous with liberty, right? we're all free!
what's free? who's free? well, let's take a look at the people who you'd think would be the most free of all, the ones who can do whatever they want- your average Hollywood superstar.
celebrities have it all, right? money, fame, everything! they can do whatever they want! they must be the happiest people on earth. sounds logical. but take a closer look- almost every single celebrity is deeply depressed. they're steeped in drugs. their marriages never last. if anything, celebrities, in my opinion, are the least happy people in the country.
why? if you have it all, why are you so depressed? you're free! i think i have an answer. remember, this is just my opinion.
i think we've got the wrong definition of freedom. freedom doesn't mean that you can do anything you want, that you can satisfy your every desire with impunity. i think freedom means having control of yourself. being able to take charge of yourself. if you want to do something, but you know it's wrong, so you don't do it, that is freedom. freedom is being in control of yourself. of not being a slave to your every desire.
people today have a warped definition of freedom. "it's a free country, i can do what i want". this mentality is what makes me afraid to walk around the corner from my house at night. a fifteen-year-old girl was murdered in my neighborhood a short time ago. gang wars are threatening my family's safety. why? why all this crime? because people think they can do whatever they want. it's their "rights". the entire mentality of "freedom" cost an innocent girl her life.
this is not what freedom is supposed to be. the real feeling of freedom comes when you know that you are in control of your own actions. you call the shots. if someone is trying to convince you to do something wrong, you have the ability to say no, you have control over your own actions, you act in a way that you know is right, you are not a slave to your desires or someone else's. That is freedom.