I Miss You

Wow guys, I miss blogging so much, it hurts!
It's all for the best, though, cuz i'm so busy now that i can't blog, even if i wanted to. I'm at one of those stages in my life where i have to start making big decisions that really matter. it's a scary thing.
Part of growing up is realizing that the choices you make don't just affect you today, but also affect countless other people, and all of your tomorrows.
It's a bit overwhelming, to tell you the truth.
And I always tell you the truth, don't I?
But i digress. My point of this post is just to tell you that i miss you, and to see how your doing. does anyone even remember this blog? will anyone answer? i do wonder.
In the months we've been apart, i've been thinking about how much i enjoyed blogging. i love it that other people can read my words and comment on them, that i can have discussions and debates with so many different types of people. i can't really do anything like that in the "real world". here, there's no reason for anyone not to hear what i have to say, you know? but in the real world, i'm not a person...i'm a mixture of physical appearance, family history, location, religion, etc. etc. in short, people see me as they want to see me, and not as i really am.
to many people, i'm not a person.
wow, this post has turned out a lot longer than i had intended it to be.
i can't believe i just did this. whatever.

Carpe Diem!

Goodbye?

Hi, guys. You're probably wondering why i haven't posted in a while. Well, here's why:
A few people in my community passed away recently, all from different causes- a teacher who was important to me, the father of a girl in my school, a nine-year-old boy...
Anyway, besides saddening me to no end, these tragedies got me thinking about how short life really is. Then i started thinking about all the time i've wasted in my life.
You know, at my funeral, i want people to have things to say about me. I want to fulfill my potential. I want to live my life to the fullest that it could possibly be lived.
I realized that i have a real talent for easting time. During the moments when i could be building worlds, i'm instead playing video games, watching TV, or - yes - blogging.
I don't want to waste my life anymore. a moment is far too precious to waste. i'm spending way too much time blog surfing.
At this point in my life, i think this blog is doing me more harm than good. so i'm going to say good-bye now. and thank you. you guys seriously listen to me more than anyone in my "real world". and that means a lot to me, that people listen, and care enough to comment on things that i've written.
honestly, i don't think this blog is helping me, besides for helping me push off the things i really want to do. i have goals and dreams, and i can't accomplish them by staring at a computer screen.
so goodbye, for now. maybe someday, i'll feel that i need this blog again. but not now.

remember, a minute of life it too precious to waste. so LIVE, and have no regrets.

The Mask

You see what you want to see. This is me. You think
What you see is only a shell, a mask. You don't look beneath it, though I'm pretty sure you know that it's there. Maybe you're scared to. More likely, you like how it makes things so much simpler.
My illusion is your reality.
You take what you see and stick a label on it. Pack it up neatly to be displayed on store shelves. It's perfect, you say.
I'm fine, you believe. Or you tell yourself you believe.
I smile, so you think I'm happy. You never glance a little higher, to the tears in my eyes. I don't let them fall.
I guess some people would say it's my fault. I don't let you see. I'm the one who put this mask on in the first place. But then again, I've been wearing it for so long, I can't even remember who first put it over my face. It was probably me. Though maybe not.
Maybe it is my fault.
But even if I would slip this mask off, you wouldn't see. You'd tell yourself it was still on.
No point. Better to keep the mask on. Better not to say how I feel, how I'm being ripped apart inside, because all I'd get is pitying stares. You'd say I shouldn't be silly. Because to you, the mask is real, and anything beneath it is the illusion.
Better not to show you the knife in my heart. Cover it up. Though there's no point, really. You never look at my heart anyway.
You tell yourself the blood is just water.
If you must know, the one thing I want most is to cry. To feel hot tears roll down my cheeks.
But of course I can't. So I smile instead. I laugh. I'm happy, I shout to the world. Don't worry about me, I'm perfectly fine.
But I cry on the inside.
And the tears fall on my heart, adding salt to the gaping wounds.

What do you think of this?:

"All the we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream."
-Edgar Allen Poe

Anyone care to explain?

Finally!

I usually don't talk about current events much on this blog, but one thing has been bothering me for a while now. I think it's time to talk about it.

As I hope you know, Israel is currently at war in Gaza, trying, among other things, to destroy some terrorist organizations.

In my opinion, it's about time.

I was surprised to find out that my opinion differs with what seems to be most of the world's. It looks like most people think that Israel has no right to invade Gaza, that they are totally in the wrong.

As I'm sure you are aware, terrorists have been firing missles into several Israeli cities, most notably Sderot, constantly, for the past six years or so. I don't know if you understand what that means.

Basically, it means that when the people of these cities hear the warning sirens, they have fifteen seconds to run to the safety of a bomb shelter. And this happens constantly. I still don't think you understand. I know I don't. It's one of those things that you can't understand unless you experience it firsthand.

And yet, the entire world is condemning Israel, saying they're not right in finally fighting back to protect their innocent civilians. I wonder, would Americans be so quick to condemn this if it was, say, Los Angeles that was being bombed daily? Or Chicago? Or Manhattan?
Would our government stand by and watch while terrorists destroy civilians?
If it would, then there is a huge problem here. The point of the government is to protect its people. If America would not let terrorists kill its people, then how can it expect Israel to do that?
The terrorists are a bunch of cowards. They run into hospitals and hide behind their sick and weak.

Terrorism in Israel has been going on for years. Isn't it time that they finally fight it?
How can anyone say that is wrong?

Random Quote of the Day

"The opposite of war isn't peace, it's creation."

-Rent

It's In Your Hands

No matter what anyone says, YOU have the power to decide who you are.
Who you are today does not have to be who you are tomorrow. YOU have the power to change yourself.
I hate it when people say, "I can't help being a jerk. It's who I am. Take it or leave it."
Well, if there's a problem with who you are, change yourself! You can be whoever you want to be, for better or worse.
Changing your personality is one of the hardest things in the world, because it's changing a part of who you are. It can take a lifetime. And once changed, you can always lapse back into your original state in less than a second. It takes no longer than a blink of an eye to undo decades' worth of effort.
But I believe change is possible.
People talk about changing the world. But we can't all change the world. In fact, it is very nearly impossible to change one other person at all. We change others by changing ourselves. Remember that.
I believe that we all have so much potential we're not using. I believe we all have incredible strengths hidden within us.
No matter what people tell you you are, no matter what they call you, it is up to YOU to decide who you are now, and who you will become.
The power is in your hands.
Will you let go of it, give it to others? Let them decide who you are? Let them tell you to be a good person or a bad person?
Or will you use the power yourself, for yourself, to be the best YOU that you can possibly be?